My Present Dilemma

My spot as guest blogger came at a very appropriate time – just after my 5^th wedding anniversary (sorry I bored you with that one already!) but also in the run up to one of my best friend’s wedding. I’m sure there’s a film title in there somewhere?

Well, the lovely Hannah’s wedding preparations are going brilliantly (they wouldn’t dare do anything else – the girl actually uses tippex in her own diary!) and I can’t wait to see all the lovely ideas come together later this month. From the colours to the table decorations, surprises and even the after party barbeque! But with the excitement of a forthcoming wedding comes the age old dilemma of what is the perfect present?

Things seem to have moved on from the traditional gift list, I being the recipient of 6 – yes 6 – gravy boats for wedding #1, can’t help being secretly relieved! As many couples are living in sin these days (or having a good practice as I prefer to think of it) the trend moved to vouchers for a while, whether for house renovations, treats or even towards the honeymoon. But the most recent trend is for a quirky poem simply requesting the pleasure of your company, and if you must, a gift of money to help out with basically whatever the bride and groom are saving for.

I’ve seen this debate result in some real controversy: some people find the thought of turning up with an envelope neatly nestling some notes just too awkward, and opt for a personal gift instead. When I’ve watched family or friends in the run up to their weddings and have seen the heart and soul (not to mention the money) they put into their weddings I personally think the choice becomes easy – the perfect present is…whatever they want! After all that preparation they deserve it!

R is for Ring

We’ve done engagement (Emma is not reliving the curry story again), but the ring itself? Different story. First off, how many grooms actually have the sparkler when they drop to one knee (or clear away the takeaway containers if you’re Mr Illustries#1)? Most of our chaps had been carrying the ring nervously around for weeks before they popped the question. And ingeniously, they’d all played the ‘so-if-you-had-to-choose-a-ring-what-would-it-look-like-while-passing-jewellery-shops’ game: ladies, we can’t believe you were still surprised! In the first of two polls we’ve been running on the blog and on Twitter (follow us @Illustries!), we asked if the ring had indeed been pre-purchased, and the results surprisingly (but heart warmingly) went with the traditional! With 100% of your proposals being romantically delivered with the engagement ring in hand.

And the second burning question? Should he wear a wedding ring? Since the newly married Duke of Cambridge (we were so hoping the Queen would plump for Earl) elected to skip the ring, we wondered if that was a decision likely to affect the guy in the street: indeed, is it still the done thing for the guy to wear a ring? Well, we polled that one too, and it seems that the majority (80%) of you felt that of course the groom should don the customary wedding band. 20% of you though, said that it was the groom’s personal choice – you generous and fair lot!

So, to finish up on rings (we’ve come full circle! Groan…), we thought we’d share another of our favourite things when we meet newlyweds to talk about their wedding. When we get to the proposal and ask about the ring, they always do the ‘ring flash’ – hand pointed slightly away from body at 30-degree angle and tilted downwards. We do it too – it must be instinctive!

Q is for Quaff

Ooh, Q is hard! Luckily, as is so often the case, booze came to our rescue. Where do you sit in the “wine with dinner/free bar/get them to put their hand in the pocket” debate? We think there's no winning answer. Guests just want to enjoy your day with you and if they know you're on a budget they won't mind paying for their own - as long as you don't then choose a venue with a mega-expensive drinks list! That said, if you can stretch to a welcome drink or some bubbly for the toast, we think that's a lovely touch (we know a groom who turned a wedding breakfast booze cruise to France into his stag - we pity the designated driver on that one!). And at one of our fave weddings, Bec and Andrew served prosecco (lovely, and reasonably priced, bubbles that came in distinctive blue bottles to really make an impact).

Oh, and if you happen to be mega-loaded, you probably should lay on the drinkies!

G is for Germany

Hmm, a strange choice, maybe. But at Illustries Wedding #1 a large gathering of friends from Germany, along with guests from France and of course, the Welsh contingent, got us to thinking about traditions from other countries that might make a quirky twist.


'On the Continent' (doesn't that sound a bit seventies?), a whole host of different wedding traditions exist. In Germany, it is traditional to wear the wedding ring on the right hand, for dill and salt to be placed in the bride's shoe by her mother and for fir boughs to be laid across the newlywed couple's path to symbolise luck, hope and fertility.

In France, a square of silk is held over the couple's head as they receive their final blessing, and the silk is kept to wrap their children for their baptism. Roads to the church are often 'closed' with ribbon that the bride must cut (for a fee!), or even blocked with briars that the groom must clear to demonstrate his determination.

Back here in Wales, the traditional love spoon is carved by the suitor and given to his intended as they begin courting, and in times past the bride was disguised as a granny for the evening party, with much hilarity in her discovery.

Our own traditions can sound really strange if you consider them heard by a stranger (sixpence in the shoe, the giving away of the bride, keeping the top tier of the cake) but often there is a degree of similarity: the bride paying her way is something that happened to one of our couples in South Wales (and the local children who were blocking her path balked at the £2 offered, preferring notes!).

We love the French and German tradition of the wedding guests following the car of the bride and groom honking their horns all the way - easy to get your mates to replicate, and bound to gather some smiles and good luck waves as you head for your reception. Including some fir in the floral arrangements, carrying some silk or keeping the veil to add later to christening outfits all add to the story you're telling on your day or the plans you're making for the future.

And as we all love a little jewellery, adding an eternity ring to your right hand rather than left could signify to the whole world that you're married - whichever way you look at it!